Open Water

I’m sitting here sipping on a glass of Campo Viejo Crianza wondering if I actually know what I’m doing   And part of that is, as a band do we know what WE are doing?  ButI’m not interested in making this any kind of serious philosophical discussion.  I’m relaxed.  I’m enjoying my wine.  I just have questions about the day.  Questions about tomorrow.  Questions about the next several months.  To be truthful, I don’t have questions about the next few years – I don’t have time for that.

But ‘unsureness’ always creeps in.  The more you understand something, the deeper you fall into it, the more layers you uncover, you stare that question right in the face- do you know what you’re doing?  Do you know what you’re getting into?  Have you thought this through?  Are you in control?  And ultimately are you happy with it?

I’m reassured by the answer to the last question.  Yeah sure, why not.  Yeah, maybe not all the time, but in general this feels like the right thing, the right direction.  I’m having a glass of wine thinking about something that I know I am excited to happen, and that makes sense to me.  But once you’re past that part…you start to wander

We’re making lots of decisions and adjustments right now as we find ourselves on the last stretch of preparation before we hit the studio.  After a considerably more laborious process than we intended, we’ve selected our studio and are booked in for all our time to do our record.  We’re basically at the point where there is no turning back.  It’s a funny point where you’ve convinced yourselves that you know what you are doing and that’s when a bit of pressure starts to build.  So you have some very real fears that appear on cue and show up for the ride.

That’s part of it right?  You can’t know everything there is to know about it right?  That’s why we rely on each other I guess.  One of the best parts of being in a band is the comradery you share with a group of people.  Everyone brings something to the table and at the end of the day you build something together.  It’s so often that the confidence you have in the others trumps the insecurities you have about yourself, and that’s what motivates you even further to pull your weight.

Questions aside and fears aside, it makes sense that we are where we should be.  You can’t know everything, you can’t have it all figured out.  That’s not the way it works.  There are still a few of the songs that we are not at all sure what approach to take for recording.  That’s ok.  But as I sit here sipping on this glass of Campo Viejo Crianza I can’t help but brace myself just a little    This ship has sailed just a little further out to sea and we are acknowledging the personality of the open water.